


AD MEMORIAM EORUM QUOS VALDE AMO ( In Memory of Those I Love)  Part One -The Past

by TheRowan



Series: AD MEMORIAM EORUM QUOS VALDE AMO [1]
Category: Sterek - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Childhood, Developing Relationship, F/M, Family Secrets, First Love, First Time, Friendship/Love, Gen, M/M, Teen Romance, Teen Wolf Fan Fiction Contest, Wolf Pack, derek - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2017-11-17 16:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/553519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRowan/pseuds/TheRowan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before he became an Alpha, Derek Hale lived a quiet and secluded life. One day his mother reconnected with an old friend and she brought her child along. Derek and Stiles become an odd mixmatched pair of friends. And when tragedy strikes they find that having each other is a way to survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the works of Jeff Davis' Teen Wolf. I have tried to stay as authentic to this world as possible.

AD MEMORIAM EORUM QUOS VALDE AMO by TheRowan Sterek Fanfiction

 

 The soft sound of a child’s voice caught his attention. He craned his head from his hiding spot amidst the pine branches to look over at the rustling and steady stream of nonsense that was coming from a small child wandering through his yard to the tree lined woods. Derek groaned slightly and wedged his book into the branch above him.

It must be the kid Laura was supposed to be watching while his mother visited with her new friend, the lady she had met at the Garden Center. Derek had escaped the minute he had heard the jeep pull up the road. He knew Laura, and he knew that she had even less patience with kids than he did. Their mother had sternly wagged her finger at them both earlier.

 

“I expect that you will both keep an eye on Stella’s little guy. Your sister Ruthie is too young to play alone with him.”

Laura groaned her best thirteen year old petulant teen groan. “Mother! Why can’t he just stay with you and his own mother. I had plans!”

Esmee pulled her long hair back into a ponytail and gave her a faint red-tinted glare, her lips pressed tightly as clipped out. “Because. I said. So.”

Derek stepped back from his mother’s glare; whereas Laura only smirked back at her. “Why do I have to babysit…Why not him!” She pointed at Derek. “ He should…He needs to learn how to socialize!”

Derek scowled at her. “He has like zero friends! He doesn’t even try! He sits and reads! Reads! Books! Like he’s a total loser at his school!”

Esmee turned at her eyes’ blazing. “You leave Derek alone. You are the oldest and I said that you will watch Stiles!”

Laura huffed out a breath and rolled her eyes. “Stiles? What the hell kind of name is that!” “You mind your manners miss! Now, go get the tea set out.”

Laura pounded from the kitchen. “It’s so unfair…and sexist…making me watch…stupid kids…all…the…time…” Her voice faded away but they both could hear her continued mumblings with their heightened senses.

Esmee hid a smirk and began slicing the crusts off the finger sandwiches she had made.

Derek sat at the island and looked at her with his usual sulky frown. Esmee eyed him and gave her head a small shake. “Don’t mind your sister…Hormonal teenage girl.” She looked up at him and caught his eye. “You are a wonderful, loving young man.”

She reached out and gently stroked his cheek. “I know you are shy. That doesn’t make you strange. You’ll have friends soon enough.” She leaned over and kissed his forehead tenderly. “How could you not? Once they see how sweet and loving you are.”

Derek smiled softly and nodded his head down. “Now, help me finish the lunch and then you can skidaddle. Ok?” He nodded and hopped down to pull out the deviled eggs.

 

* * *

Derek scanned the area for Laura, who of course, was nowhere to be seen. The little boy began throwing punches into the air and sidekicks. Derek almost laughed out loud watching the frantic and spastic movements. The little boy had a thick mess of brown hair that glittered in the sunlight.

He grabbed a stick from the ground and began swinging it like a sword. Derek saw that he was wearing a batman t-shirt and faded corduroys. Suddenly the stick forgotten, the little kid decided to try and climb the tree. He jumped up to grab at a branch and failed miserably. He landed with a heavy thud amidst the pine needles.

He groaned slightly and stood up to brush himself off. Derek couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped. The boy’s eyes shot up looking at the sudden rustling pine boughs as Derek again hid from view. Derek could see his golden brown eyes scanning around at the movement he had made.

Instead of looking nervous the kid got a determined look on his face and actually tried to climb up again, his eyes fixed at the spot where he had detected some motion.

Derek slowly snuck a look down from around the tree. Stiles had managed to get a foot hold and was carefully stretching up to the next branch. He had a look of pure determination of his face and he grunted with the effort to pull himself up higher and higher.

Stiles looked at the spot Derek was hiding. His golden warm eyes straining to find him. “Are you there?”

The voice made Derek nearly release his hold from shock. It wasn’t what he had expected the kid to sound like. It seemed older more mature than his tiny frame would suggest. Stiles kept scrambling up slowly one branch at a time.

“Uhm.Your sister.Said. You were up here.” He stopped moving his arms holding the branch, taking a few breaths and nervously looked down at the ground. “I’m…Uhm…Stiles…Are you Derek? Laura said we could play together.”

The kid’s voice sounded both hopeful and unsure.

Derek swore under his breath a word his Uncle Peter was fond of saying, which if his mother had ever heard him say would result in a spectacular spanking even at twelve.

Stiles smiled nervously up. “You sure can climb high…I’ve never been…this high.” A slight panic was in Stiles’ voice. He looked down. “We can play superheroes…or Batman….I have my shirt…on…My mom bought me the video…With Catwoman and Penguin…Don’t like him though…really creepy…I like Cat-” He fell so quickly he didn’t even have a chance to yell.

Derek jumped out and grabbed him to his chest and landed with a roll onto the pine needles below.

Stiles’ eyes were wide and he looked for an instant as if he were going to cry, but instead blinked them back and looked at Derek in wonder. “You? You caught me? You saved me?” He looked up at the tree then back at Derek. Their eyes locked.

Derek felt his small hands clinging tightly to his arms. He gave Derek a tight hug. Derek could feel his heart against his chest pounding faster than a rabbit’s during a hunt.

Derek looked down into the eyes of the boy and smirked. “Yeah,well don’t get used to it…I won’t do that again.” He dropped Stiles onto the ground roughly.

Stiles smiled up at him. “Ok. You can be batman!” He grinned widely at Derek. “I don’t play Batman! I’m almost twelve.” Derek turned and walked away. Stiles hopped up and scurried after him. “I’m going to be seven…Are you in Middle school? Or High School? I can’t wait to go to High School! I’m going to play lacrosse and get married to Lydia Martin.”

Derek rolled his eyes at him. “You don’t get married in high school…idiot.”

He began to trot trying to outpace the kid. Stiles laughed. “No. I know that. I mean after High School. Hey… is this all your families?” Stiles gestured to the surrounding forest and grounds. “ It’s so cool out here… My mom has gardens and stuff…but we don’t have so many trees…Just a few…Do you know my dad? He’s the sheriff…I like your house…It’s big, and your mom is nice. Do you think that she and my mom are going to be friends? My mom said she didn’t really know her too well, but she was really, really happy to meet someone new….Who has half a brain in this town….”

He paused to look at Derek staring at him. “Yeah?”

Derek shook his head at him. “Do you ever shut up?”

Stiles chuckled. “My dad says that I need to…So do you have someone you want to marry? Lydia is in my classroom…Miss Gilberts…Its first grade but I’m in advanced reading in the second grade and do math with another class….I get to go all over the school…which is kind of cool. It’s good to keep moving around…that way I don’t get so… in trouble…”

Derek stood mesmerized by the stream of babble coming from the kid. He had to shake his head to clear it. “Do you like school? I do and I don’t…I like learning stuff, but I don’t like just sitting still…”

Derek turned around and threw up his hands. “Ok. If you will just stop talking….You are giving me a head ache…I’ll play with you.”

Stiles whole face lit up with his smile.

Derek bit his lip trying not to return the smile, the kid’s happiness was almost contagious. “Really! So cool! You want to be Batman and the Joker?”

Derek frowned and sighed and shrugged. Stiles looked at him quietly. He kept his eyes on him focused and intent. He was beginning to make Derek nervous. “What?!” He growled.

Stiles laughed. “Nah! You can’t be the joker! You saved me…You are a hero! Hey! You growl really good too! You know the X-Men? You can be Wolverine! My dad used to read them when he was a teenager…He gave me his old comics…Except Wolverine was short….How about you be Superman and I’ll be Batman? Then we can both be heroes?”

Derek chuckled. “Sure kid. If you want.” Stiles began jumping up and down in joy. Derek got a small sly smile on his face. “But first we have to capture Wonder Woman’s secret computer journal!”

Stiles smiled. “Why?” “Because she is being brainwashed by Lex Luthor and the only way to save her is stealing it from her room!” Stiles nodded seriously. “Let’s go!”

Derek chuckled as he and Stiles made their way as stealthily as they could back to the house.

When they reached the house Esmee and Stiles’ mom were sipping tea and sitting on the lawn before the house laughing together. They had a sketch book laid out before them and Stiles’ mom was looking writing down something.

Esmee’s head shot up as she caught his scent and gave him a bemused smile at Derek’s furrowed brow, as she saw Stiles bouncing behind him.

“Stella this is my son, Derek…Derek, Stella Stilinski.” Derek skidded to a stop and gaped at her. She had Stiles’ warm golden eyes and his broad smile that was almost as familiar and comforting as his own mother’s.

“ Mrs. S?” She jumped up to hug him. “Derek!” She gave him a gentle hug. “It’s so nice to see you…Outside of the library!” She ruffled his hair affectionately

.Esmee smiled at them with a questioning look. Stella smiled at her. “Derek is my most voracious reader at the library! He stops in after school almost every day!”

Stiles smiled up at Derek. “You go to my mom’s library?” Derek blushed slightly and hung his head with a nod. Esmee gave him a proud smile.

Stella's eyes looked up remembering. “What was it you were reading? Wuthering Heights?”

Derek nodded still looking at his feet. Stella shook her head slightly in wonder. “It is one of my favorites.”

“I like Heathcliff…” Derek mumbled slowly.

“My Derek is always reading.” Esmee chuckled slightly. "He is quite the dreamer."

“And he is always a perfect polite young man when he is there. Not like some of the other kids.” Stella rubbed his arm affectionately. “Look your mom and I are planning out a garden…What do you guys think?”

She lifted up the sketch pad. Derek eyed the sketches and gave her a small smile.

Stiles hopped up to look. “I like the colors! Mom! They should come see your gardens! Do you like flowers Derek? My mom has sunflowers,roses, lavender,Artemisia,peonies,poppies….”He took a breath. “Daisies, chamomile,sage, mint, jasmine and gardenias…in pots….marigolds,rosemary,parsley,hollyhocks,coneflowers,larkspur,lilies…Which are her favorites…” Stella stopped his breathless rant with a deep hug and kissed the top of his head.

“Stiles! Ok…ok! He gets it!” She smiled down at him and their smiles matched perfectly.

Esmee stood up and brushed off her pants. “Let’s go look at those catalogues you brought. Boys come inside and you can grab some food. Do you like deviled eggs Stiles? Derek helped me make them!”

“Mom!” Derek groaned.

She hugged him to her body as they walked back to the house.

Derek sat across from Stiles and simply watched as the kid talked and ate simultaneously. His hands never stopped moving as he gestured and talked about everything.

Derek couldn’t believe he hadn’t choked on the bites of food he had in his mouth as he rambled. Stiles eyes however never left Derek’s face. It was disconcerting the way the kid seemed to be studying him.

“So…We you never told me who you are going to marry…” Stiles smiled at him.

Derek tore his sandwich apart. “I’m never getting married!” He growled again, which made Stiles chuckle. “Why?”

Derek looked up at him and rolled his eyes. “Because I don’t want to stay in one place. I want to travel. Do stuff. When you get married you have to work and take care of kids…I hate kids. I don’t want to take care of anyone…”

Stiles chuckled again. “ You don’t?…You’re nice! Just grumpy…Like my dad. He gets grumpy too. I like helping people…I want twenty kids…and a big house just like this so that everyone can come here and eat and play outside.” Stiles eyes got a faraway look.

Then he looked at Derek. “You can come too…So you will have a place to stay when you aren’t travelling ok?”

Derek rolled his eyes at him. “I’ll have my own house idiot! I won’t need to live with you!”

Stiles nodded slowly. “Just in case you want to though.” He quietly finished his sandwich and didn’t look at Derek again.

“So are we going to mess with your sister’s computer or what?” He grinned into his plate. Derek smiled at him. “Let’s go.”

 

* * *

After they left Derek sat on his bed reading when he heard Laura’s howl from the next room.

“Derek! What did you do to my computer!” She stormed into the room claws out eyes glittering blue.

Derek tried to put on as stoic a face as he could. “Why, Laura whatever is the matter?”

She launched herself at him. The ensuing ruckus was enough to wake Ruthie who began to wail, and bring both of their parents up to the room.

They found Laura straddling Derek and pummeling him mercilessly.

“Laura! Enough!” He father roared. Esmee pulled them apart and gave them both a shake, making their teeth rattle in their heads.

When his vision cleared he saw all three pairs of eyes on him frowning. “Well?” His father asked. Derek frowned down into his lap.

“Just playing a joke…Stiles and I borrowed her computer…”

Laura picked up the computer and turned it on. “I can’t log in…He changed my password!”

Derek jerked back in surprise. “I didn’t do that! We just changed your background…To my pretty pony!”

Laura lunged at him, but her mother caught her hand.

Esmee took the computer and laid it on the bed. “Try again honey.” Laura huffed and sat down and logged in only to get an error sign.

Derek groaned. “Stiles must have done something!” His parents regarded him with skepticism.

“ You are telling me a six year old was able to override her password and reset it?”

“He…He’s almost seven!”

“Derek! This is unbelievable!” Esmee rolled her eyes. “I’ll have to call Stella and see if he can give me the password!”

She left to grab the phone and returned speaking to Stella. “I’m sorry it is so late…It seems the boys decided to play a joke on Laura and Stiles put in a new password.”

She glared at Derek as she waited for Stella to get Stiles. “Hello Stiles. I need you to tell me the new password you put in. Yes. She is not happy. Yes. I know it was a joke. Ok. I’m not mad. Really.Really. Really. Yes we will come visit your gardens….Derek too!”

She smirked at her son’s groan. “Ok you’ll tell me? Laura get ready and write it down.” Laura grabbed one of Derek’s notebooks for school and a marker.

“Ready!” she growled.

“Uhhhm…Is that what you put as a password?” Esmee chuckled softly. “Ok. Laura. The password is: ‘Derek is a grumpy Gus but really is a hero.’

Derek’s eyes went wide as they all laughed at him. “Thank you Stiles. Goodnight.” Esmee hung up the phone. Laura squealed happily as she successful logged in and bolted from the room.

Esmee looked down at Derek with a smirk. “Seems you made quite the impression on Stiles!”

Derek growled. “I’m going to rip that kid’s throat out…with my teeth!”

Esmee laughed and stroked his head. “I think he’s a nice kid. Who knows he might end up being a friend?” Derek looked at her in astonishment. “Yeah. Like never going to happen!”


	2. Chapter 2

Derek walked quickly through the street. He hated the way he felt closed in by the buildings at the center of town.

It was exhausting daily trying to filter out the regular noises of school enough, but into the heart of town he always nearly lost control.

It was the horrible combinations that assaulted his every sense; the smell of exhaust, the faint odors of cooking food from the restaurants, the high pitched squeals of tires and horns blasting and the insufferable chattering of humans all around him.

Stepping into the library was like a calming salve to his whole soul.

The instant stillness and quiet wrapped around him like an embrace. He bowed his head down and deposited his latest books and headed towards the fiction section.

He had enjoyed the Brontes, now he wanted to continue in that vein. He pulled out some Thomas Hardy. He looked at the covers of the books to scan the titles: “Return of the Native” and “Away From the Maddening Crowd.” He chuckled slightly and tapped the book against his leg gently.

“Hello Derek?” He turned and saw Stella regarding him with a faint smile.

He smiled softly back at her. “Haven’t seen you around lately…Or your mom. Is everything ok?” Stella stepped a bit closer.

Derek could see the faint red rimming her eyes. She had been crying. He cautiously touched her arm. “Mrs. S? Are you ok?” Her smile wavered a bit and she nodded.

“No big deal. Just some silly health things. I’m ok. Fit as the proverbial fiddle!” She gave him a gentle laugh.

Derek nodded slowly, his hand releasing her arm. “So you? Everything going well?” She looked at him still with her wide eyes glistening.

He nodded. “My mom and dad went out of town for a while. My Uncle Peter is staying with us.”

“Well, you are welcomed to join us for dinner anytime you’d like. I’m sure Stiles would like that! Now that you’ve started high school I’m sure he’d love to find out who you plan on marrying!” She gave a deep laugh at that.

Derek couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Ok well my house is always open to you! Ok?” She gently patted his head. “It will always be a safe haven.” She nodded at him and returned to her cart to re shelve the books.

* * *

The faint scent of sadness lingered on his clothes as he left the library. He was so busy trying to examine the scent that he almost ran into the group of third graders racing from the park.

“Watch it!” He growled at them. One of them skidded to a halt and turned to him.

“Watch it yourself Butt head!” The kid sneered back at him.

One of his friends grabbed his arm. “Jackson! He’ll kill you he’s in high school!”

The Jackson kid rolled his eyes at his friend. “Shut up Danny! This jerk would be arrested and thrown in jail if he even raised a finger at me!”

Derek dropped the books he was holding and lifted the smirking kid up in the air. His face inches from the terrified blue eyes he snarled. “Not if they never find the body!”

Jackson squealed weakly as his feet dangled in the air. His friend Danny gulped. “Listen. We are sorry! Really!”

Derek dropped Jackson down hard and glared at him. “Learn some manners punk!”

As Jackson scrambled up his book bag opened and a pair of red converse fell out. Derek caught a familiar scent. He scooped them up.

Then he turned a menacing look at the boys. “Where did you get these?” He held them up and waved them at Jackson, who was cautiously inching away on his backside. “Well?”

The third kid mumbled something. Jackson turned and glared at him.

“Shut up Greenberg!” Derek crouched down and leveled Jackson with a look. “I.Said.Whose are these?”

Danny stepped up looking embarrassed and scared. “We were just playing a joke…On the…Sheriff’s kid…In the park…”

Derek grit his teeth and had to take a calming breath not to let his eyes flash blue. “Stiles?” He asked looking at Danny. Danny nodded his head frantically.

“We were going to leave them here…I promise…When he came to see his mom…”

Derek stood and turned towards the park. “You little shits better never mess with Stiles again! You got that or I’ll mess with you” He turned and glared at Jackson. “And I don’t care who your father is…”

The three boys bolted down the street. Derek picked up the books he had dropped and sniffed cautiously at the air. He needed to find Stiles.

* * *

It didn’t take Derek long to find Stiles walking his way down the sidewalk. Stiles was heading back towards his house. The backpack hung carelessly over his shoulder, his red hoodie smeared with mud,the white socks already blackened from the walk.

Derek trotted up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Stiles nearly flew into the road in panic.

When he saw it was Derek his eyes got wide then he dropped his head to hide the obvious tears that had been cascading down his cheeks.

Derek handed him his sneakers without a word. Stiles looked up at him with a mix of disbelief and wonder.

“How? How did you?”

Derek smirked at him. “I ran into a rude little prick named Jackson.”

Stiles nodded and squatted down to fit the sneakers on his feet. He winced suddenly.

“What? What’s the matter?” “Stepped on some glass in the parking lot. Didn’t see it.” Stiles dropped one sneaker in defeat.

Derek crouched down next to him. “Let me see.”

Stiles shook his head. “Nah. I’m fine. I pulled it out most of it. I’ll get the rest when I get home.”

Derek huffed and put down his books and grabbed Stiles’ foot. Stiles looked up at him with a surprised look.

“Just let me look at it.” Derek gingerly pulled the sock off to see an inch long gash along the sole of Stiles’ foot. He looked up at Stiles in dismay. “You’ve been walking on this? From the park?” Derek leaned in and gently examined the cut.

Stiles nodded. “Had to…Get home.”

“Why not go to the library…Your mom?” The eyes that met Derek’s were so full of sorrow that he found himself trapped by them. He wanted to hug him, hold him, make the sadness go away. Derek instead focused on the cut and carefully examined it for stray glass.

Stiles eyes dropped down again. “Don’t want her worrying about me.”

Derek sat back and looked at him. “She’s your mom…It’s what they do.” He tried to sound casual.

Stiles shrugged. He sat looking at Stiles’ bowed head and defeated slump of his shoulder.

“Let’s go, kid.” Derek laced his hand under his arm and lifted him. “Come on I’ll help you home.” He pulled Stiles’ backpack off him and thread it over his own shoulder. Carefully they began hobbling down the street. Stiles was unusually quiet. In the two years they had briefly been in contact, every time he had seen the kid he was nonstop chatter; the quietness was almost as sorrow filled as his tear filled eyes.

Derek cleared his throat. “So I take it third grade is not going so well?” He eyed Stiles sideways as he made a small “Hmmph” noise.

“It’s stupid. Everyone is stupid.” Stiles mumbled.

“Even…what was her name? Lydia?” Derek asked. Stiles looked quickly up at him then away .

“No. She’s till perfect. But the new kid, Jackson Whitmore, likes her…and he said I better leave her alone.” Stiles frowned. “That’s why he took my sneakers…I told him I’d never stop loving her!”

He said it with such honesty that Derek stopped to look at him in amazement. “Kid? Come on she’s just a crush! You are going to have a ton of girls who you like…Who will like you…Isn’t there any others you like?”

Stiles pressed his lips together. “I don’t think so.” He looked at Derek then away. “She’s just so pretty…and sometimes…she seems really smart…”

“Well. Screw him.” Derek growled. “He can’t tell you what to do, or who to like.” Stiles nodded.

“But I think she…likes him too.”

Derek sighed and nodded. “Oh.” They continued in silence with Stiles leaning against him, hopping slowly.

“You know you don’t need to help me. I can do it myself. I’m sure you have other things you can be doing.”

Derek snorted. “Just shut up and move. If I didn’t want to help…I wouldn’t.”

Stiles nodded. “So haven’t seen you around much. How is High School? You meet any nice kids?”

Derek took in a deep breath. “Nah. They’re all ‘dumb’ just like the kids at your school. All they care about is dating, parties…” Derek adjusted Stiles’backpack . “I just can’t wait to leave this town…Go explore, travel the world…”

Stiles smiled up at him. “Yeah? Where’d you go?”

Derek looked at him and furrowed his brow. “I guess all around America…New York then maybe go to Europe…then maybe Africa or South America?”

Stiles nodded. “You still don’t want to get married?”

Derek rolled his eyes at him. “Cripes kid! What’s with you and getting married? You are only what eight…nine? You need to be a kid and stop thinking about weird stuff like that.”

Stiles shook his head. “No. It’s not weird. It’s what we all should do. Have someone. You know like that will always be there…My mom and dad are perfect together. I want that too.”

Derek sighed and looked down at him briefly. “Whatever, weirdo. You sound like a girl! I’m happy with me. I don’t need anyone.”

Stiles looked up at him. “Then how come you always look so sad?”

Derek stopped and looked at him. “I’m not sad!” Stiles shrugged slightly. “You seem it. Like you’re lonely.” Derek looked at Stiles’ eyes that were doing that intense searching, he felt as if Stiles was peeling away the layers off him and it made him suddenly angry.

“Listen! Stop being so weird. I’m fine… I have friends. I just don’t have a lot in…common with the kids in this town…”

“Why not?” Stiles kept looking up at him.

“I…Its…just shut up.” Derek tightened his hold on him and picked up the pace.

“I’m your friend Derek. Even though I’m just a weirdo. Ok? I’ll be your friend.” Stiles gave him a smile then looked away.

Derek took a deep breath. “Ok. Stiles….Thanks.”

 

* * *

Derek caught the same scent as soon as they entered Stiles’ house. It was a faint, strange smell of sadness and something cloyingly sweet. He scrunched up his nose at it and shook his head to clear the smell.

He guided Stiles to the couch. “Where are your band aids?” He asked lifting Stiles’ leg up on the couch.

“In the bathroom off of the kitchen.” Stiles bent his foot up to examine his wound. “Gross!” He murmured.

Derek found the bathroom and grabbed the box of bandages, wet a towel and found a small tube of antibiotic ointment.

“Don’t mess with it!” He barked at Stiles as he sat down. “Let me see it.” He carefully held the foot and looked at it as he wiped off the crusted blood. With a carefully extended claw he ferreted out a stray piece of glass.

“ You still had this in you!” He held it up to show Stiles.

Stiles looked at him and nodded, biting his lip. “Did I hurt you?” Derek asked as he finished rubbing in the ointment.

“No. I’m ok.” Derek heard the slight blip in his heart beat. “Liar!” he laughed. Stiles shrugged.

Derek finished putting on the bandages and sat back. “You going to ok…alone?”

Stiles shrugged again and began pulling out his books from his book bag. “Yeah. I’ll do my homework. My mom will be home soon…”

He looked up at Derek suddenly. “She’s been sick you know…”

Derek sat back and swallowed nervously. “What do you mean?”

Stiles opened his math book and stared down at the pages. “I heard them talking last night…She has to have some kind of surgery…and then some treatments…”

Derek rubbed his hands against his legs. He could smell the sorrow and fear spiking from Stiles.

“I’m sure it’s no big deal…” Stiles smirked and gave a small nod. “Yeah. She’ll be ok!” he grinned at Derek.The broken staccato of his heartbeat belied his confidence.

Derek pressed his lips together looking at him. He wanted to do something. Hug him? Comfort him? He gathered himself up and moved back instead.

“Well, kid…I’m gonna go home now.” He stood and gave Stiles a nod. Then without thinking reached out and rubbed his head softly. “You’ll be ok? Right?”

Stiles looked up at him with his wide eyes and nodded softly. “Thanks Derek…For helping me and…being my friend.”

Derek gave a soft snort. “Yeah.” As he walked home he kept seeing the old man sorrow that was etched in Stiles’ eyes. The kid was a mystery. He chuckled thinking back to what Stiles had said. His friend. Laura was right. He was a loser. The only kid in the whole town who cared about him…That he cared about was a spastic third grader with a motor mouth and an old soul. He needed to reexamine his life.


	3. Chapter 3

Derek hadn’t meant to avoid Stiles but the days stretched to weeks to months and then into a year… he realized that he missed the little motor mouth. He knew that his mom had been sick…Very sick, he just couldn’t bring himself to see him…or her that way.

His mother had been at Stella’s daily. Taken her to Chemo treatments when the Sheriff couldn’t, stayed by her side for the whole day. They took walks into the woods hand in hand, laughing over their secret friendship. Sharing family recipes over tea, stories about the neighbors, the latest trials of parenting. Derek watched them from a distance. He could see that Stella had become something important to his mother.

The time she brought Stiles along he had no escape. His mother called him, barely containing her Alpha pull. He found himself trudging down the stairs, eyes down dreading looking at Stiles or his mother. He was angry that his mother had made him stay to greet them. He really wasn’t sure he had anything he could do or say to the kid.

He certainly couldn’t tell him about the new friend he had made. Kate had made it perfectly clear that no one could know. Just thinking about her made his head fuzzy. He had found his Lydia he thought stupidly. Stiles would have liked to hear that.

Could Kate be the one? The one he’d be with like Stiles had always said he’d have? She was older sure…But he would be legal in another two years.

Kate was different than the other girls at school, who constantly ogled him and batted their lashes at him and squawked stupidly about their clothes, music and teenage dilemmas. She was quiet and thoughtful. Mysterious and alluring.

She would make a great werewolf, he knew it. If only he could tell her his secret and get his mother to bless her with the bite. She was strong she’d be able to survive it.

* * *

 

They stood hand in hand at the bottom of the stairs. He glanced up quickly then away. Stiles had shaved his head, his thick brown curls gone. He must have done it to show his mom his support, It was something that Stiles would do.

Derek swallowed tightly at the knot formed in his throat. He caught his eyes with the younger boy.

With his big, sad eyes, the hair cut made him look younger; small and fragile.

Stella smiled as warmly as she ever had before at him. “There you are! My goodness look at you!”

She took a quick step and grabbed him tightly to her fragile frame. She looked at him. “So grown up! And handsome! Esmee, you better batten down the hatches! There is going to be a storm of girls after this one!”

She rubbed his face gently. “So. How has school been going?”

Derek shuffled his feet nervously. The scent of her illness was choking him. He fought the sudden sadness that clamped in his throat. “It’s fine…I started swimming…Joined the swim team…Play baseball.”

He shifted his eyes over to Stiles. Stiles gave him a tight lipped smile. “Hey.” He waved at him. “Hey.” Derek mumbled back to him.

Esmee smiled weakly at Derek. “How about you guys head outside. I’m fixing up some lunch.”

Derek looked up at her. “I was heading out…to the pool.”

She fixed him with a hard stare. “I’m sure you can give your practice a wait. We have company.” She took Stella’s arm and they headed into the kitchen leaving Derek looking down at his sneakers and Stiles hands deep in his pockets in silence.

“Let’s go outside.” Derek grunted and grabbed his gym bag. He moved past Stiles and walked out to the porch. He stopped when he realized Stiles wasn’t following him.

“It’s cool. Go swim…Practice. I’m ok.” The voice sounded even older and lost than he remembered. For an instant the thought of Kate waiting at her apartment for him almost overrode his actions, but he stopped and dropped the bag.

“I’ve got time. Stiles? Come on…Let’s just walk…around.”

Stiles dug his hands deeper into his pockets. “Ok. Whatever.” He shuffled up to Derek and tried a smile which failed miserably.

 

Once they were outside Derek and Stiles headed towards the tree lined edge of the property. “You still climb trees?” Stiles asked softly.

Derek shrugged. “Not really…Not anymore.” Stiles just nodded. “It’s still really pretty here though.” He sat down and looked up at the rows of pines. “Peaceful.”

Derek sank down on his haunches next to him. He followed Stiles gaze at the ravens flying high above.

“School ok?” He asked softly. “Still in love with Lydia?”

Stiles picked up a stick and began poking it into the ground with a smirk. “Yeah.” “You wearing her down yet?” Derek chuckled.

Stiles shrugged. “No. She’s into Jackson…You remember him?” Derek smirked. “Yeah…unfortunately.”

“I met a new kid…Well actually almost a year ago…His name is Scott. He’s cool. We are friends.”

“That’s good…I’m glad.”

“Yeah. He’s fun…Kind of …goofy. But he’s a good friend.”

“Yeah? That’s good Stiles. You are a great kid…You should have lots of friends.”

Stiles looked at him. “How about you? Still all ‘happy to be me’?” He gave Derek a soft smile that was an exact duplicate of his mother’s.

Derek sighed. “Yeah…I’ve met some…people. I’m not so lonely anymore.”

Stiles smile grew wider. “I’m glad….You are a good guy. You should have people who know it.” Suddenly Stiles yawned wide.

Derek laughed. “Sleepy?”

“Didn’t take my pills today…Get sleepy.”

“Pills for what?” Derek’s stomach dropped. He leaned closer but didn’t smell any illness.

Stiles shrugged and waved his hands around his head. “To help this…Focus…School…Life?” Stiles began poking the ground again. “I was up all night researching.”

“Researching what?” Derek chuckled.

“Cures for cancer.” Stiles eyes held him for a minute then looked away. “Her stage is too advanced for most trials…It’s inoperable…In her brain…Like a bomb waiting to go off.” Stiles eyes closed tightly.

Derek reached his arm around him slowly. Stiles head collapsed against his shoulder. Derek could hear the small choking sounds as Stiles fought to hold back the tears.

He pushed away from Derek and stood up and began stumbling away. “I’m gonna just walk around for a bit. I really want to be alone right now…I know your mom wants us to hang but I don’t…So you can go…to swim…practice.” He trotted off into the woods at a quick pace.

Derek watched him walk away. He stood conflicted watching Stiles. Part of him respected his need for solitude, another part of him wanted to help him…bring him back, keep him safe.

He called out. “Stiles?” Stiles just waved casually over his shoulder at him and sat down under the pines. Derek called to him. “I’ll get us some food and water…Then we can go for a hike…Ok?” Stiles waved and nodded back.

Derek took a deep breath and turned back towards the house. When he opened the door he could hear his mother and Stella in the kitchen. He crept quietly towards the doorway.

Esmee held Stella close. She tried not to let the fear and sorrow in her heart show in her eyes. When she stepped back she gently wiped the tears from Stella’s face.

“I know it’s coming.” Stella smirked. “You can smell it can’t you?”

Esmee bowed her head and choked back a sob, but nodded slightly. Stella rubbed her face gently. “You’ve been a great friend…I wish I was able to do more for you and your…family.”

Esmee pulled her tightly. “You could…let me…” she stepped back eyes fixed on her friend. Stella laughed her deep laugh. “It isn’t that I hadn’t thought about it…But…Esmee…I don’t want John and Stiles involved. These new hunters we’ve been hearing about…”

Esmee’s eyes flared red. “I will protect you! And them! They can be part of the pack!”

Derek gave a small gasp. His mother’s tear streaked face frightened him more than her red glare.

“Derek! I told you to stay with Stiles!” Esmee stepped towards him her fists tightly clenched.

“Esmee! It’s ok. He should know…Its ok. Derek come here sweet heart.” She reached her hand towards him. He took a hesitant step towards her. “I have…known…about all of you for a long time…” She reached over to Esmee and clasped her hand.

“My…our families go way back. I thought I had left it all behind…” She chuckled slightly. “But when I met your mom in town…I knew. She knew.”

Derek blinked at her in confusion. Stella nodded. “I’m sort of a historian…an advisor to the clan…uhm. The pack.” She smiled. “Our mother’s were friends years ago. Esmee and I grew up together until they moved away when we were five. Who would have thought we’d end up settling in the same town?”

“An advisor?” Derek shook his head slowly.

“Estella. Let me explain.” Esmee took Derek’s hand. “There have always been humans that aren’t pack who help and heal and guide us. They aren’t swayed by the emotions and passions of the wolf. They are our anchors…They keep us grounded in our human spirit, while still allowing us the blessing of the bite. They can do things we cannot, sometimes see things we overlook…”

Derek looked up at Stella with wide eyes. “Does Stiles?”

Stella shook her head. “He doesn’t know…anything. He’s still too young and I won’t be able to train him…” Suddenly her eyes teared up looking at Derek.

“Derek! Promise me you’ll take care of him. Watch out for him? He cares about you…You are a friend. Don’t let this…damage him. Be there for him. Please?”

Derek blinked back his tears and nodded. She pulled him in tightly and kissed his cheek. “I knew you would! You are a good guy, you know that?” She rubbed his cheek gently.

“Esmee…You’ve spoken to Alan? He’s willing? I know he’s got something of a past…But he’s a good guy too.”

Esmee nodded at her. “I spoke to him yesterday. He is willing. He has made me a promise.”

Stella took a deep breath. “Well. That’s that then. Time for me to clean house and get things ready.” She kissed Esmee’s forehead tenderly “We’ll talk later? Ok?” Esmee nodded mutely at her.

Stella pulled on her hat to cover her cropped head and gave it a jaunty flip. “How do I look? Paris runway ready or what?” She turned back and gave them a slow wave. She blew them both a gentle kiss, then with her bright smile and warm eyes she left them.

She called out to Stiles a laugh in her voice. He heard the jeep pull away. Derek knew it would be the last time they saw her.

 

* * *

Four days later Derek lay next to Kate in her bed. She stretched languidly and turned to look at him her green eyes sparkling.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered shyly at her.

She chuckled and pulled herself up. “I missed you this weekend.” She let her long fingers slide down his chest making him shiver. “You were so naughty to stand me up like that! I was so lonely.”

She inched towards his chest and traced his sternum with her tongue. Derek shuddered against her.

“I…had to see a friend. His mom is sick…dying.” Kate sat up and looked at him, a quick flash of disbelief and surprise flickered over her face.

“A friend? I thought you said you didn’t have any friends?”

Derek smiled. “He is a little kid…in middle school…His mom is friends with my mom.” Derek closed his eyes trying not to picture Stiles’ sad eyes. “He is really hurting…He’s a good kid…I feel sorry for him.”

Kate smiled down at him, maneuvering her hips over him. “Aren’t you just the sweetest thing? Did you make him feel better? I bet you did. You make me feel better….all the time….”

She dipped her lips to his and pressed against him. “Do you see how good you make me feel you dirty boy!” She laughed into his ear.

“You want me again don’t you? So eager!” Kate leaned back and rubbed his hair affectionately.

Ah the resilience of youth, she thought. Too bad it’s not enough to save you or your family. She allowed Derek to make his fumbling caresses, letting his scent fill her clothes and sheets would make this so much easier.

 

* * *

Stopping at the gym for a swim was the best way to cover her scent. Laura was alredy becoming suspicious of his random “swim” practice.

She had actually followed him to the gym last week. Little did she know that Kate had been waiting for him here. He smiled thinking of Kate and how perfect she made him feel.

He allowed the water to wash over him as he slowly did his laps. He loved being in the pool, the ease of it, the tranquility of the water. It was his new safe place after the library.

Suddenly he felt a sharp ache hit his chest. He gasped for breath and found himself sinking beneath the surface. He could see the light above glittering down at him. For a minute he forgot to move as if he was paralyzed.

Suddenly the pain and panic shot back through him. He pushed frantically to the surface and pulled in a breath, he looked around frantically as if someone had attacked him. He grabbed the side of the pool and hung his head down as he caught his breath. He rubbed his chest still feeling the pain and aching inside him.

Then the tears sprang to his eyes and the sobs that accompanied them. He felt like a puppet being pulled by some invisible strings.

The sorrow coming in from elsewhere filling him up until he had to let it pour out. Derek pulled himself from the pool and bent down letting the last of the sadness wash over him.

When he could he stood up shakily and made his way to the shower. He let the hot water wash away the tears and ease the tight pain that seemed to have settled into his chest. When he entered the house he could feel the heaviness in the air.

 

Being a member of a pack meant you felt the atmosphere of each other’s emotions.

He felt it immediately, even before he saw his mother seated at the kitchen table, her hands wrapped around a mug of tea. She looked up at him and gave him a small shake of her head.

“You ok?” She asked.

He shook his head slowly. “I had a weird thing happen at the pool…I just started crying and…I felt so sad and alone…” He blinked confusedly at her. “Why? What happened?”

Esmee looked confused and surprised at him. She stood up and smiled sadly, her eyes brimming with tears. “Stella died…tonight…” She pulled him to her chest and stroked his head.

Derek pulled back as he felt his heart pounding in pain again. “Stiles! We have to go see him!” Esmee shook her head slowly. “No. Derek. He’s with his dad…John doesn’t know about us…How close we were to Stella…He needs time to be with his family.”

“But Stiles! I promised her! I promised!” His voice broke suddenly and the same unexplainable panic wrapped over him. Derek didn’t notice the look of new concern on her face as she held him tightly to her. She looked at him and closed her eyes tightly as he sobbed into her shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4

The strange haze didn’t dissipate over the next few days. Derek and his mother attended Stella’s wake and mass and joined the crowd of her many friends at the cemetery.

The skies themselves seemed grieving, as thick grey clouds rolled over the scene and a faint scattering of rain began. Esmee gripped his hand tightly as she made her way to the coffin. Stiles stood mute and still as stone beside his father. His eyes fixed in a desolate sadness at the hole before him. The flowers blanketing her coffin were glistening with rain.

Derek and his mother stopped before the Sheriff and his son. Esmee’s voice broke slightly as she took his hand. “She was a beautiful woman…Inside and out. She will be missed.” John’s eyes met hers and he nodded his thanks, then looked over at his son. “She was amazing.” He whispered. Esmee stopped before Stiles and gently rubbed his arm.

“Stiles. If you ever need us we are here for you.”

Stiles looked up as if waking from a dream and blinked slowly at them. His eyes fixed on Derek. He nodded slowly then looked away.

Esmee rubbed his shorn head softly then bent to kiss it, biting back a soft sob. She dropped Derek’s hand and moved quickly away. Derek looked down at Stiles’ bent head and shuffled slightly on his feet. His jaw tightened and he fought to find the words he wanted so badly to say. Stiles noticed him still before him and looked up. Tears welling in his eyes making him look more fragile and broken than anything Derek had ever seen.

“Stiles…” Derek could only breathe as he felt the heaviness of sorrow hit his chest again. Stiles hand reached out and held Derek’s and for a heartbeat Derek forgot everything else around him. Everything was just Stiles. His sorrow, his need, his loss. Derek swallowed the hard burning pain gathering in him and grabbed Stiles to his chest. He felt the hot tears against him as Stiles gasped out his sorrow.

Stiles breathing began to pulsate through him; it felt as if Stiles was suddenly drowning in his arms. John immediately bent down to him and pulled him close.

Derek almost snarled at the man for pulling Stiles away from him.

“Sorry. Sorry.” John whispered to Derek. “He’s been having these…attacks…Stiles, breathe. Just breathe. You’ll be ok. We’ll be ok.”

John bent his head against his sobbing son and cried wrapping his arms tightly around the boy. Derek began to back away slowly.

It was too much. Too raw. Stiles eyes caught him from over John’s eyes. An inner voice raged. “Don’t leave him! Stay with him!” He could feel the wolf inside struggling for release. “Protect him!” It screamed.

He cast one last look at Stiles and then nearly ran from the crowding mass of weeping and sobbing humans.

He pushed past his mother and her concerned eyes. He could only think of one thing, he needed to find that quiet space again.

He needed to push away this sorrow that was permeating his every thought. He could feel his mother’s worry on him as she stood by their car. He wouldn’t stop even for her. He needed this. He needed release.

Once he was clear of the cemetery he allowed himself to run. He allowed the press of his feet against the earth to pound out the thrumming in his chest.

He ran all the way to Kate’s apartment. She looked at him with a small smirk. He dropped his eyes, breathing hard.

“I need you.” He panted embarrassed by his weakness. She simply pulled him inside and closed the door.

 

* * *

For the next week Derek tried to continue through, pushing the strange dull ache away as they made their way to and from school.

Laura noticed his behavior and would frequently stop on their drive to eye him carefully. She had allowed his brooding silence to continue, but inside she felt his unease and it pulled at her.

The celebration for the family reunion on the Wolf Moon was nearing, she knew that as mature Betas she and Derek would be put out for the ‘games’ as their Uncle Peter laughingly called them.

Laura knew it was simply a pissing contest between the relatives to show off their broods. Test the Betas on their knowledge of the lore. It was also nearing the time for the whole “mate” discussion and the possibility of meeting new packs to continue the bloodline, which made Laura squirm in disgust.

As the family gathering neared she noticed an even more heightened nervousness in Derek.

As they dragged out the extra bed frames she stopped and grabbed his arm.

“What is going on with you?” She hissed quietly. Derek’s eyes flashed worriedly at her, then dropped quickly.

“It’s nothing!” He growled.

She pulled him to face her. She scrutinized him carefully. “have you…met someone?” Derek’s eyes widened at her.

“ You have!” She almost smiled but then she saw his fear and flash of shame. “Who is it?” She gave him a rough shake. “ Do I know her?”

Derek pushed her away. “Shut up!” he glared. “It’s nothing.”

Laura chuckled. “Is it a him?”

Derek rolled his eyes at her. “What? It could be! You know about Uncle Andrew…Its ok.”

Derek pressed his lips tightly. “It’s nothing.” Laura sighed and pulled on the mattress. “If you say so…”

Derek pulled out the next mattress and stopped standing still. He looked at her for a moment then shook his head.

She sat down and looked at him. “What Der? What is it?”

He opened and closed his mouth quickly. “When mom talked about…Mates…Is it always just one?”

Laura frowned at that and shrugged. “I…Guess. If it gets to that point…I mean we aren’t animals Der…We have a choice. It’s not all rutting and mating. Or in my case litters of puppies!” She gave him her bright smile. “Is that what it is? You afraid you will get stuck in whoever they pick?”

Derek frowned slightly. “No…But will we know? I mean really know? Or will we make…a mistake?”

Laura stood up and held his arms softly. “Der, we’re still kids…Really. I can’t see mom and dad shipping us off against our wills with someone we don’t love…and who loves us. Don’t listen to Peter…He’s messed up.” She kissed his cheek. “I’ll protect you…ok?”

He smiled at her and nodded slowly. “Ok.” He whispered.

 

* * *

The family had begun to arrive and the crowd and noise of so many new sounds and scents was enough to drive Derek to the woods.

His human cousins took an immediate liking to him and began trailing after him wherever he went. He found himself once again surrounded by their constant chatter and laughter; and suddenly he remembered Stiles.

He felt the deep pit inside him open up again as he thought of the kid with the big eyes and old soul. Sitting back on the grass he watched the children rolling and tumbling around him. He heard a voice calling his name. When he looked up he saw Stiles. His backpack on his back, legs straddling his bike, his face slightly flushed from his ride from town. Derek blinked in surprise at him.

It was almost as if he had wished him here. He stumbled up and began walking towards him. Stiles carefully stepped from his bike and put down the kick stand. He pushed his hands deep into his pockets and looked up briefly at Derek.

“Stiles?” Derek paused and looked at him. “You…You ok?”

Stiles gave a slight shrug. He let his backpack slide from his shoulder, and bent down into it. “I brought you something…From my mom. She…She wanted me to give these to you…Before she…”

Stiles eyes caught his and for a minute it was as if he knew everything Stiles was feeling and thinking. Derek saw that Stiles held some hardcover books wrapped in twine. Stiles looked at the books with a soft smile.

“These were some of her favorites…She thought you’d like them…She didn’t think you had ever read them…so she picked them out for you…”

Derek took them and held them gently in his hands, his eyes tracing the faint weathered bindings and yellowed pages.

“Stiles…I…” Stiles refastened his backpack quickly and pulled it back on. “She wanted you to have them…So…I brought them…to you.”

Derek looked at him, then at his cousins behind him watching and waiting. “You want to come inside…get some food…My family is having a…reunion…”

Stiles looked up at the big house and gave it a smile.

He shook his head slowly. “Nah…I have to get home…Make dinner…I…it was good seeing you again. Have a good time…Tell…” His voice stuttered slightly, making Derek take an involuntary step towards him. “Tell your mom… ‘Hi’ from me. OK?”

Derek nodded eyes still fixed on him. Stiles smiled and gave a small wave to the cousins, then got on his bike and pedaled back down the long dirt road.

 

That night surrounded by his cousins, Derek opened the books. He pulled them close to his nose and smelled the faint musk and vanillin of the old books.

One was Shakespeare’s the Tempest, another John Steinbeck’s East of Eden, some Proust and a collection of Grimm’s fairy tales. He chuckled at Stella’s choices. The last was a leather bound journal with a strange device etched into its cover. He opened it to see Stella's small neat writing inside. There were notes on plants, rituals, ingredients and other obscure passages written in a strange language that looked old and possibly latin.

Derek rubbed the soft leather and flipped through the pages. From the book a small slip of paper fell out onto his hands. He carefully unfolded it to see small neat cursive writing. He leaned in to read it under the faint light of his lamp.

     _“Derek, I wanted you to have these to remember me by. I will always have a warm spot in my heart for you. The most polite and avid reader I have ever had the pleasure to know. I wish we had more time to discuss these great authors. I wish I could have been your advisor as well. One day you will be a great leader. I know it. Do it with love and care. Take care of yourself and never stop growing and learning. Yours, Estella Sophia Stilinski_. As an afternote she had scribbled: “ _Remember Stiles! Keep him in your memory. Perhaps one day he will be the advisor for you I never had the chance to be.”_

Derek folded the note carefully. He tapped it against his chin in thought. He could smell her on the letter and instead of sickness he smelled flowers and earth and new green growth.  As he put down the books he caught another scent on the starnge book. Something familiar and sad. Climbing from the bed, he cautiously stepped over the snoring forms of his family and snuck out into the night. He had a new scent to find and some truths to share.


	5. Chapter 5

When he reached Stiles’ house Derek crept around the quiet house scenting the air for Stiles’ room.

He slowly crept up to the roof and paused thinking this through. How would he even start?

“Uh, Hey Stiles. I know it’s… nearly midnight but thought I’d drop by. See how you are. Oh and by the way. I’m a werewolf…and your mom knew and…wanted …” He groaned and leaned against the window.

What had she really wanted? She had only asked him to protect Stiles, to be there for him… be his friend. And he had failed…Miserably. When Stiles had needed him most where had he been?

With Kate…

Derek put his hands to his face. His last few visits to her had left him feeling different…used, dirty. The way she rushed him out once they had finished. The way she pulled and twisted him.

The sex had taken a different turn. He no longer felt it was a gentle exchange, he felt she wanted something from him.

The way she had pulled at his hair, clawed at his back, if he had been human he knew she would have hurt him. She seemed to want to…That look in her eye the last time he showed up almost held a disgust that had lodged into him.

He almost turned away and left but she had grabbed at him with a laugh. When he nervously voiced his concern she had laughed in his face.

“You are so sensitive! I thought you were tough!”

The way she had ripped off his shirt had been deliberate.

“I’m giving you an education you’ll never get again…from anyone.” He succumbed to her, released with her but something had changed.

He felt as if she had her mind on something else…Somewhere else. When he had untangled himself from her he reached for the shirt.

She grabbed his hand tightly and pulled it from his grasp. “No I want this…a momento…” She stretched up and kissed him harshly, making him back up from the force of it.

“I’m leaving town tomorrow.” He frowned at her . She roughly messed up his hair. “Oh. Come on now. You didn’t think that this was really going anywhere else…did you? It was fun…Right?”

She leaned into him and breathed. “You’re just a kid after all…built, solid…but” She leaned back glistening and naked and regarded him coldly. “Just a kid.”

Once she had closed the door on him he had turned and began to run. He ran nonstop through the town, to the woods.

The tears burning angry marks down his face. Never again he swore.

Never again.

* * *

And here he was sitting on a roof feeling alone and stupid.

He could go to Laura…But she’d feel compelled to tell his parents or worse track down Kate and beat her senseless.

He had no one to talk to, no one who would even care enough to listen…except Stiles.

He’d listen, he’d care. But he was only a kid. A kid who had just lost his mother.

A kid as alone and lonely as he was.

Derek gently tried the window and it slid open effortlessly. He paused to listen. He could hear the soft even breathing of Stiles sleeping.

Derek almost turned to leave when he heard a slight moan of pain. Stiles legs thrashed out and he gave out another pitiful whimper.

Derek crept towards him and looked down at him. His face was contorted as if he was crying, but no tears came. It was a rictus of sorrow and pain. Derek could hear the boy’s heartbeat pounding loudly, his breathing stuttering.

Without thinking he reached out and placed his hand on Stiles’ rising chest.

Using the calming touch his mother had taught him he pulled out the pain that was storming through Stiles.

He gave a gasp at the touch. The pouring of emotions was like a live wire of electricity.

The pain from the pool was back. It was there between them now like some circuit spinning out of control.

Derek felt the tears flowing down his face as he tried to look away from Stiles, felt his wolf rise protectively to the surface, growling in concern.

Stiles’ eyes flashed open and held him. The boy’s eyes widened in terror looking up at Derek, but they didn’t look away.

Instead he reached up and held Derek’s hand against his chest tightly.

“Derek?” He whispered softly. “I was dreaming of my mother…she was here. She told me to open the window…Then she left…she left.”

Derek hung his head and wiped furiously at his own eyes. “I’m sorry. Sorry I wasn’t a better friend to you…Be here for you…You hurt so…much!”

Stiles sat up, his hand holding Derek’s. “How did you do that? Derek? Your eyes?” Derek looked up at him his eyes blazing with the wolf.

“I’ll protect you Stiles. I’ll be your friend…I promise.”

Stiles nodded slightly and leaned in to rub his head gently. “Derek… You are my friend. I know you are. I can feel it… here.” He looked down at his hand over Derek’s that was still pressed to his chest. “But what I need to know…Is…What are you?”

* * *

If he wasn’t so emotionally drained the whole situation would have made him laugh.

The ease at which Stiles had accepted his news was miraculous. Stiles old self had begun to resurface within the first few ten minutes. He fired off question after question as he paced around his room making Derek’s head swim with his rapid fire inquiries.

“Yes. The full moon does change us, but we learn how to control it. No, we…my family… don’t eat people…although it could happen to others…We do not get fleas…Yes, we can run fast and are “super strong”. No I don’t want to be a super hero…Yes, I would save people if I could…No I don’t think there are vampires . I have no idea about the Loch Ness Monster…”

Stiles stopped his pacing to look at him. He smiled shyly. “And that weird book…with the plants’ names and strange writing…was my mom’s? What? Spell book?” Stiles seemed strangely excited at the thought. “She knew all about you and your family?"

Derek sighed and nodded. “She was kind of a historian…My mom called it an advisor. Someone who can help us when we need it.”

Stiles nodded his head slowly. “Can I be…that? For you?” Derek couldn’t help the smile that inched across his face.

“I don’t know what she knew. I think there are some others…Advisors…out there. Maybe my mom will ask them to train you.” He sat next to Stiles and placed a hand gently on his knee. “But you are still too young. Your mom was afraid of you getting involved. I heard them talking about these Hunters.”

Derek looked ashamed suddenly. “I should never have told you about any of this…I don’t want you getting hurt. I promised your mom, I’d look out for you.”

Stiles furrowed his brow at him. “I’m your friend.” He put his hand over Derek’s. “I can take care of myself. I’m glad you told me. Trust me.”

Derek smirked and gave a soft nod. “I do feel…better. Now that I can talk to you…be honest with you.”

Stiles got a mischievous glint in his eye as he looked at him. “Can you show me? I’d like to see you as a wolf?”

Derek blushed slightly. “If…you want…But I can’t…change into…a wolf.”

Stiles sat down next to him. “Why?” “Only the Alphas can transform fully…I’m a beta…Laura will be an Alpha someday…maybe. But I’ll always be a Beta.” Derek looked down at his hands.

Stiles smiled at him. “So show me…”

Derek chuckled slightly. “I don’t want you to get scared…” He looked sideways at Stiles.

Stiles rolled his eyes at him. “Dude! It’s like magic is real!”

Derek smirked at him. “Ok…but stay quiet.”

Stiles clapped his hand over his mouth and held in his squeal of excitement.

Derek stood and pulled off his jacket. He took a deep breath and slowly allowed the transformation. He immediately could see and smell everything in glorious detail. He looked at Stiles wide eyed and grinning ecstatically.

“That . Is. Awesome!” He yelled.


	6. Chapter 6

Derek and Stiles spent the remainder of the night exploring all of Derek’s wolf abilities.

Stiles seemed to be cataloguing every new discovery into his computer data bank of a brain.

“So if I got lost you could like track me…from my scent?” Derek nodded.

Stiles pressed his lips together in thought. “So what do I smell like?” Derek chuckled. “I don’t know…Just you…”

Stiles casually took a sniff at himself, which made Derek laugh. “I can smell…” he leaned in close to Stiles. “Chicken…broccoli…toothpaste…laundry soap…”

Stiles flounced on his bed. “But me? What do I smell like?” Derek sat back to look at him. “You smell like…” he closed his eyes and concentrated. “Grass and papers…Tears and old books…” he blinked his eyes opened at Stiles. “You smell comforting…cozy. Like a warm sweater.”

“Jeez! That’s so lame! I sound like I smell like an old woman!” Stiles laughed and hit Derek affectionately on his arm. He leaned forward and sniffed at Derek.

Derek recoiled laughing. “What do you think you are doing?” Stiles shrugged. “ See if I can smell anything on you?” Derek drew his eyebrows together. “You won’t be able to…Humans have pretty bad senses.”

Stiles gave him a scowl. “Let me try! Mr. Know- it- all!” He leaned closer, his nose gently grazing Derek’s neck.

Derek shuddered slightly. “Tickled” he mumbled slowly. Stiles looked at him carefully. “You smell like pine trees…and leather…and a perfume…kind of girly?” Derek pushed him back with a scowl.

“Screw you!” he laughed. Stiles chuckled and bounced back up. “No really…I swear…It’s like you were hugging a girl or…a woman…Smell it on yourself.” Derek sat back and frowned. “ It’s nothing probably bumped into someone in town…”

Stiles shrugged and bent down to pull out his box of comics. “Ok. Let’s get you up to date on what you need to do to be a superhero…”

Derek shook his head. “I’m not going to be a superhero, Stiles.”

Stiles waved his hand at him. “Shush you. Here these are Batman…and the X-men. I’m thinking the quiet mysterious Bruce Wayne is more your type than Logan from the X-men but…With your healing stuff and claws…”

With piles surrounding them they stretched out together reading through every comic book Stiles owned.

Derek realized something new, looking over at Stiles’ lips moving quietly reading, he had never known this…This simple quiet camaraderie.

When he finished his last X-Men comic he looked over at Stiles and discovered that he had fallen asleep. His mouth hanging slightly open, comics draped over his slowly rising and falling chest.

Derek gathered up the comics and carefully placed them into the box. As carefully as he could he lifted Stiles and tucked him into his bed. He paused and gently rubbed his head.

This time there was no frightening arc of energy, only a soothing quiet calm.

Stiles blinked up at him and they smiled at one another. “Thanks for trusting me…with your secret.” Stiles murmured sleepily up at him. “I’ll keep it safe…”

Derek nodded down at him. “…and for being my friend.”

As the first pink glow of morning spread over the street Derek made his way home.

For the first time in weeks he felt lighter. He didn’t care that Stiles was only a kid. He was a friend.

A true friend. It was a new sensation having someone he could totally trust that was outside his family. It felt like a gift, unexpected and special. Something to treasure.

 

* * *

The cousins woke him with their usual rambunctiousness.

Pillows were thrown, insults hurled as they all scrambled to the kitchen for breakfast.

Derek sat up groggily and rubbed his eyes. He made his way downstairs and deposited himself at the first available chair in the dining room.

His mother and aunts carried in heaping platters of pancakes and sausages. Derek laughed as his cousins, Josh and Leslie, tried to out maneuver each other for the platter.

Derek intercepted a sausage with his fork and gave a triumphant wave of his ‘kill’ at his cousins in triumph; only to have Laura swoop in to steal it.

“Got to be quicker than that baby brother!” She said biting into the sausage with a savage grin.

He rolled his eyes and turned to grab another when he was presented with an empty platter and his cousins’ mouths full and chewing.

Josh made a mocking face at him. “Oh…What’s the matter? Too slow?”

Laura nudged next to him and spooned out scrambled eggs onto his plate. She eyed him quietly. “You seem in a good mood? What’s the matter? Got a free renewal on ‘BQ’?”

“What’s ‘BQ’” Leslie asked slapping her brother’s fork from her plate.

“Brooding Quarterly…He’s been a gold card member since birth.” Laura laughed at Derek.

He smirked. “Stay up all night thinking that one up?” She giggled and began devouring her food.

“Well someone was up all night.” Josh gave Derek a knowing smirk. He bit into his toast and chewed looking at his cousin with a mischievous glint.

Laura looked up. “What? What do you mean?”

Josh leaned forward slightly. “He came creeping in through the window at dawn.”

Derek scowled at him. “Mind your own business.”

Josh held up his hands. “Just sayin’ is all.” Laura lowered her voice carefully.

“Der, is it true? Where the hell were you?” She looked up and gave a slight gulp, as her mother placed down another dish.

Esmee’s eyes were fixed on Derek. “Yes, Derek… exactly where were you?”

Derek threw a scathing look at Josh, then schooling his face he looked up at his mother. “I went to see Stiles.”

Esmee blinked quickly, and then shook her head. “Derek …In the kitchen…Now!”

He dropped his eyes and stumbled after her. “What the hell is a Stiles?” Josh asked.

* * *

 

“Peter…Could you take the rest of the food in and go get up the little ones. I need to have a private talk with Derek.”

Peter looked from one to the other and nodded. As he walked by he whispered. “Just flash those puppy dog eyes at her and she’ll buckle…”

“Peter!” Esmee growled. He chuckled and scurried from the room carrying the last of the breakfast.

Derek’s father leaned against the sink and dried his hands. “What is it?” He asked his wife.

She sat at the island and looked at Derek carefully. “Why did you go to see him?”

Derek dug his hands into his jeans and shrugged slightly. “I dunno. Missed him. Wanted to make sure that he was ok?”

“You were here at home last night. We went to bed around midnight. I knew you were still here because we were patrolling the area. Your scent was in your room.” His father looked at him with his brows furrowed in question.

“Stiles came by yesterday… He brought me some books, from Stella. She left me a letter asking me to look out for him, to protect him…”

“And?” His father crossed his arms. “You couldn’t just wait and call him this morning…or go visit him today…You had to go right then?”

Derek realized how silly it all seemed now. Derek looked up his eyes wide and confused. “I…Just needed to see him…Talk to him…I don’t know?”

Esmee looked at him carefully then looked at her husband and sighed. “Well. It’s done. I don’t want you risking being out alone…or drawing any attention to Stiles. You know what Stella had said…He knows nothing about us…”

Derek’s eyes or heartbeat must have betrayed something because she stopped and gave a small exhale of breath.

“Oh. Derek what have you done.” Her disappointment was like a slap to his face and he felt the first glistening of tears in his eyes from the shame of it.

“I didn’t mean too…but I did…I touched him and felt all his pain and sorrow and it was too much…Then he woke up and he saw…”

Esmee took a step towards him. “What do you mean you touched him…and felt his pain?” She exchanged a worried look with her husband.

Derek felt his face flame red. “Just …he was crying…dreaming…And I felt it and wanted to help him…Like with the wounded dog…You showed us…”

He saw the look that passed between Esmee and his father. They looked at him with confused eyes. “I wanted to ease his pain…Take away the sadness.”

“That isn’t how it works…It doesn’t affect emotions…” His father said softly.

Esmee held up her hand slowly. He stopped and looked at her. “Derek…When you touched him…You. You felt his pain?”

She was watching him carefully as if trying to understand something.

Derek shuffled his feet and tried to avoid her eyes. He nodded slowly. “I also felt it…before…Remember? The night Stella had died…when I was swimming…”

Esmee sat down slowly holding the edge of the island. “It was the same…last night…but then I touched him and it seemed to get better…” He let his eyes sneak a look up at them.

His father was looking at his mom with a worried frown. “Esmee…I’ve never heard that it could…”

She waved softly at him and gave him a look that stopped him. “Derek…Go eat…I’ll talk with you later. Ok?” Derek hung his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…I just couldn’t help myself…When I felt…”

She took a step to him and gave him an embrace. She lifted his face gently. “I know you did it for the best of reasons…Go, we’ll talk later.”

She watched him walk away. He was nearly full grown. She had to stop to remember that he wasn’t her little baby anymore.

But yet he was so innocent still in so many ways. She looked at her husband and sighed. “I don’t even know what to say.”

Her husband nodded slowly. “He really doesn’t know?”

Esmee shook her head again. “What are we to do then? Tell him? Or let this just unfold?” Her husband leaned down across from her his head against hers.

“We’ll wait until after the Wolf Moon. We can explain it to him then…about him and Stiles.Ok?” She nodded and hugged him close.


	7. Chapter 7

With the Wolf Moon falling during the week Derek and Laura had to get up even earlier to help their parents prepare the underground meeting rooms, and make sure that the restraints and cages were in full working order.

Derek hated the handling of the chains and straps.

It was the only time he resented the gift.

Even though his sister and he had maintained good control they still were subject to the chaotic pull of the full moon.

Only his mother and father and some of the older relatives could control themselves fully and stay free during these times.

Peter and his father unraveled the thick chains and piled them neatly along the wall.

Peter turned to Derek and smirked. “You think these will hold you?”

Derek frowned at him. “I don’t need them. I can control myself.”

Peter made a face at him and laughed. “So cocky…I hope you are as sure of yourself during tonight’s games… I have a fifty on you!”

“Peter!” His brother growled at him.

Peter chuckled. “Just keeping things interesting…”

 

After school Derek and Laura were tasked with stopping at the supermarket for more food.

Derek eyed the list in annoyance. The amount of food that their family could eat was staggering.

Laura parked her shiny new Camaro as far from other cars as possible. It had been a birthday gift from her parents, shiny, sleek and black, and she felt a total badass driving it.

Derek turned and frowned at her as she parked. “Could you maybe park any farther from the store?” He said with a sarcastic growl.

Laura flipped her hair back. “ I don’t want anyone dinging my doors!” Derek rolled his eyes.

She looked at him. “So…Ready for tonight’s games?”

Derek shrugged slowly. “I’m definitely faster than Josh and Robert. Thomas is bigger but…Not the brightest bulb in the box…”

Laura smiled at him. “You’ll be fine. Just don’t let Thomas pin you down. You won’t get up.” She laughed.

Derek smirked again and raised his eyebrows. “What about you? Leslie is pretty bad ass and Claire’s wicked quiet.”

Laura shrugged. “I’m not worried. I have been training…unlike some others I could mention…” She nodded at him.

Derek knew she was right. He hadn’t been using his time as he should. The others had been more diligent in their training. He began to wonder if Peter had the fifty on him or against him.

 

* * *

They attacked the list with quick efficiency. Derek gathering drinks, vegetables, dry goods and cleaning supplies. Laura with meat, poultry and desserts.

Laura enjoyed the look of wonder on the butchers’ faces as she rattled off her order. Derek pulled his cart next to her and leaned against it waiting.

He waved a package of her favorite cookies at her. “I remembered!” He smiled. She grinned at him. “Good brother!” She stopped and furrowed her brow and he saw her lift her nose slightly.

He frowned at her. “What?”

He turned and saw down the aisle Stiles and his father bent down arguing over a box of Coco Krispies. He smiled at them softly as Stiles held his hands in prayer begging his father. “ I swear I won’t eat them all and no midnight snacking! It’s not that much sugar!” The Sheriff shook his head in defeat.

“Ok.Ok. But I’m warning you…I find any empty bowls under your bed…” He let the threat stop there. Stiles gave a victory cheer and dropped the box into the cart. Derek turned back with a wide smile to see Laura still frowning at him. He flinched his head back. “What? Its only Stiles…”

She leaned closer to him. “Why does he smell…like you?” Derek’s eyebrows drew together. “What? He doesn’t…”

Laura looked at him with squinted eyes. “Uh…Yeah. He does…and here he comes…”

Derek turned back to see Stiles rushing up to him, his face spread wide with a grin. “Hey!” He skidded to a stop in front of Derek. His happiness at seeing Derek vibrating off him like an electric current making Derek smile shyly in return.

“Hey Derek…Laura…Wow. Getting a few things?” He chuckled looking down into their carts. “Still have family visiting? Dad and I are just grabbing a few things…Hey, you wanna come over tonight? I just got this awesome new game for my x-box and Scott might come over. So we could all play…or hang out…or…” His eyes scanned back and forth between Laura and Derek.

Laura leaned towards him and gave him a smile. “Not tonight kiddo, Derek has to be home. Family stuff.”

Stiles’ eyes got serious for a moment and he nodded. “Oh. Right…It’s the….Tonight. I get it.” He reached out and gave Derek’s arm a gentle pat. “Another time… Ok? Uhmm. Good luck tonight then…” He slowly nodded at them and turned back towards his father.

Laura watched him leave, and then looked at Derek watching him walk away.

He shook his head and caught her stare. “What?” he chuckled nervously.

She pressed her lips together tightly. “Nothing…Come on. We need to get home.”

* * *

 

Derek sat cross legged on the floor slowly breathing in and out.

He had done his stretching, his pull ups, his pushups….He felt loose and ready to go. \Now he needed to show Peter that he had control, he could maintain. He allowed his mind to find that quiet comforting place.

He took a deep breath. He could hear everyone else making the preparations for the games.

After the games dinner would be served, the honoring of the ancestors and then an early night to prepare for tomorrows full moon. He let the quiet of his room wash over him.

He wasn’t nervous about the games. He wanted to win, sure, but he also knew his place. He wasn’t meant to be an alpha.

He would be first Beta to Laura someday. Just like Peter was to his father. And if she married another Alpha like his parents had, he’d serve him just as easily.

He could smell Laura hovering nervously outside his door and he smiled.

“You can come in.” he whispered. She came in and sat on his bed.

“Nervous?” He asked opening his eyes to look up at her. She shook her head. “No. Not… about tonight…Just…Der?”

He stood up and pulled on his sweater. ‘Yeah?” She began fumbling with her bracelets. “How…uhhm…close are you with Stiles?”

He jerked his head back and laughed. “What do you mean? Close enough I guess…” He began gathering up his school papers and books to shove into his backpack.

“Did you finish your paper for Mr. Harris or did you need me to help you?” “No…I mean yes…I did. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about….”

Her eyes were serious and concerned. He pulled out his desk chair and sat down looking at her. “Well? What is it?” He could smell the spike of anxiety in her. She sighed and looked at him. “He smells like you…”

Derek rolled his eyes at her. “You’re imagining things…I haven’t seen him in two days…”

“No. I mean…He smells like…yours…"

Derek startled. “What the hell does that mean?”

She began biting her lip. “Just…Uhm…What is your…relationship with him?”

Derek shrugged. “A friend…someone to hang with…talk too…”

She looked up quickly. “Nothing else? Nothing more…”

He shook his head confusedly and then looked up with a horrified expression as her words sunk in. “What the fuck are you trying to say?” His voice got low and a new dangerous glint flashed in his eyes. “He’s a kid…for Christ’s sake! Jesus! Laura what do you think I am?”

She grimaced. “ I’m sorry! It’s just so weird…How he seemed like…bound to you! I don’t know! Derek you have been so weird…secretive lately…and the way you look at him…the way he looks at you!”

Derek grit his teeth. He felt his heart beat begin to pound painfully. “He’s a kid. Just a kid.” He said again.

He lunged up from the chair and began pacing. “You’re sick…For even thinking that!”

Laura stood up quickly and held out her hands. “Der! Der! Calm down. I’m sorry. Really. I just didn’t know... think that…And…”

“Just get the fuck out of here!” he snarled at her. She bowed her head and began to leave. She stopped and looked back at him. “I know you would never…Do anything…I just wanted to ask…”

“What!” He roared.

She sighed again, head still bent down. “Do you love him?”

Derek slowly sank into the chair as his heart pounding as if he had just run a mile.

He looked up at her his eyes frightened. She nodded slowly and left. “He’s just a kid.” She heard him whisper softly to himself as she closed the door. 

 

* * *

Derek deliberately kept his eyes from Laura as his mother and the elders had them stand in the circle.

His heart had finally calmed down but her words still lingered in the back of his mind like a taunt to his sanity.

“ He’s just a kid.” He kept repeating over and over to himself. His mother’s eyes on him made him snap back to reality.

“I asked you a question Derek. What technique can be used to help cloud the mind or train another?” Derek swallowed and gathered his thoughts. “ Transference…By using the claws at the base of the neck a member of the pack can share memories or change another’s thoughts. It can only be performed with the permission of an Alpha…”

He looked up at her and she smiled.

“Josh, what is an unbreakable oath one pack mate can make to another?” Josh smirked cockily. “By the blade, by the blood and by the moon.”

Derek and the others continued standing as question after question was given.

He felt Laura’s eyes on him, but refused to look at her. He clenched his jaw and stood rigid.

 

Finally, it was time for the games. “Something has been hidden.” Esmee began. “You have an hour to locate it. You can use whatever method you desire to hinder your opponents, but no wound shall be deeper than muscle. The packs elders will be following you to throw you off the scent and monitor your progress. The first to return to the altar of the ancestors with the item will be deemed this year’s winner and entitled to the honorary title of Lead Beta. Do you all agree?” Derek looked over at his sister and his cousins and they all nodded in unison. Embrace your gift my children.” She smiled and shifted into her Alpha form.

They all felt the pull of her transformation and allowed their bodies to shift. “Run!” She growled savagely her eyes burning bright red under the waxing light of the moon.

 

Derek limped back to the clearing hearing the victory cheers of the others. His leg was gashed deeply and so was his back.

Josh came stumbling behind him groaning slightly. “Uh.Dude you creamed me!” He chuckled. Derek stopped and grabbed his arm to help him along.

“Yeah. While we were battling it out…Laura won!” Derek couldn’t help the small smile of pride that crept over his lips.

Josh looked out into the clearing to see Laura holding up the deer’s skull with a triumphant smile on her face. “She’s going to be a great Alpha someday.”

Derek nodded at his cousin in agreement. Laura would be, he knew. She wanted it so badly.

Once they were changed and the wounds licked cleaned and bandaged up, it was time for dinner. As the new honorary Lead beta Laura was given the honor of serving her Alphas. With quiet dignity she brought in the steaming platter of roast beef and chickens and placed them down on the table. She kissed her mother and father and sat between them.

They all joined hands as she began the blessing. “May the gift keep us together, keep us strong, keep us fast and keep us wise.” She said over the food. They all bowed their heads in unison. “Let no one tear apart what is bound by blood, by moon and by heart.” She looked over carefully at her brother and gave him a gentle smile. He blinked slowly at her and returned it. He could never stay angry at Laura for long.


	8. Chapter 8

The quiet descended over the house.

The adults sat around the bonfire sipping tea, sharing tales of their beta trials.

Derek sat against the window a book opened on his leg looking up at the moon.

He was exhausted. Josh was already snoring on the mattress beside his bed, the other little ones piled haphazardly around him.

He heard the door knob turn and Laura walked in slowly looking for him. “Can’t sleep either?” She whispered. He just shrugged and hopped off the window ledge.

He looked up at her. “Congratulations…again.” He smiled.

She grinned proudly at him. “Piece of cake… speaking of which , come on I’m still hungry, let’s see if Peter saved us any of Aunt Leah’s cake."

They carefully tiptoed downstairs and pulled out the remnants of the cake.

Derek neatly divided the piece between them.

Laura watched him with a smile. “Thanks for distracting Josh…You didn’t have to…”

She knew that he had found the prize before her, and waited to ambush Josh. “I would have been able to get it.”

Derek nodded with his mouth full. “I know…”

Laura put down her fork. “Then why?”

Derek looked up at her in surprise. “Because you’re my sister…I love you.”

She blinked her eyes rapidly. “You are such an ass Derek Hale.” She reached over and hugged him tightly. “I love you too! So much!”

She looked into his eyes. “I just want you to be happy…and I’m sorry for what happened…before…I know. I know you would never do…”

He held up his hand and looked away. “Don’t talk about that….ever again.”

She sat back and began picking at her cake. “He’s a nice kid. I understand why you like him.”

Derek huffed at her. “Laura…Really.”

“As a friend…Jeez.Relax!" She huffed slightly. " He’s so open and right there. Everything is written in his eyes. He’s got this aura around him…Like his mom. Warm and caring and sweet… If he were a little older…”

Derek chuckled. “What you’d date him?”

She smiled. “Maybe? He’s cute…a little scrawny. But definitely cute.”

“Laura he’s eleven!”

“So? I’m only six years older…When he’s twenty… I’ll be twenty-six…Big deal. Mom is three years older than dad!”

Derek rolled his eyes. “He’s only eleven.”

Laura nodded. “How old was Kate?” She said it in a rush, her eyes not looking at him.

Derek nearly choked on his mouthful.

“She has to be at least twenty-five…That’s almost ten years difference…”

“Laura?” He breathed softly. “You…Knew?” He felt his face blanch and his stomach clench tightly.

She looked up at him with a mix of anger and sorrow. “I followed you…to her apartment. I had a few choice words with her after you left running down the street like a lost puppy.”

He could see her claws had extended with the memory.

He looked down at the crumpled piece of cake. “You…You didn’t hurt her… did you? Or tell mom…” He looked up cautiously at her.

She shook her head slowly. “No. Though I did want to smack the cocky ass smirk she had on her face.” Laura sat back. “I told her that if I ever saw her near you… or anybody under the age of eighteen… I’d visit Sheriff Stilinski and have her ass thrown in jail so fast her head would spin.”

Derek remembered to breathe and it came out as a slow release, he put his head in his hands. “I was such an idiot…she didn’t care…didn’t …”

“What… love you?” She said it harsher than she meant to and he looked up at her with a stung expression.

“Derek…She’s a user…she’s messed up. That wasn’t love Der, it was just sex. You didn’t know. She took advantage of you. That’s not how it’s supposed to be…You find love then you share it with someone…Not just take it.”

“I’m not stupid Laura…I knew what was happening…I knew.”

She twisted her mouth and looked away. “It’s over. It’s done. And…” she took his hand. “It’s our secret.”

Derek closed his eyes tightly and nodded. “ Thank You.”

“Just promise me…Derek. Look at me.” He looked up into her eyes.

“Don’t let her poison you to real love. It is out there…for you and me. Promise me you’ll believe in it…Don’t shut yourself from it. No matter what happens?” He nodded slowly.

“I won’t.” They scrambled teary eyed into each other’s arms.

Laura laughed. “And remember you need to listen to me! I’ll be your Alpha one day!”

 

* * *

Since Laura had to stay after school for her abysmal failure on the chemistry test, Derek was forced to either wait for her to finish with Mr. Harris or hoof it home.

He walked past the fields where a few students were practicing lacrosse or running the track. He heard a familiar victory cheer and scanned for the source. Off in the distance he spotted Stiles and another dark haired boy playing lacrosse and tossing a ball back and forth to each other.

Derek hunkered down by the bleachers and watched them. Derek watched as they took aim at the goal. Stiles and his friend certainly didn’t look as if they were team ready yet….but he had to admire their determination.

“Ok. Scott. I want to run with it. Get ready!” The dark haired boy laughed. “Just don’t fall on your face this time!” Stiles laughed back at him

. “Oh, yeah! Mr. All pro like you should talk!” Stiles sprinted down the field and threw the ball.

Derek gave a silent cheer when it passed by Scott’s stick into the goal.

“Hey! You did it!” Scott stopped to look behind him as if to make sure it had actually gone in.

“Dude!” Stiles laughed running up to him. “I tell you if we get on the lacrosse team we will be high school golden!”

Scott nodded rapidly. He looked down at his watch. “I gotta go!” Stiles threw up his arms. “All ready? We just got here!” Scott trotted over to his book bag and pulled out his inhaler and took a quick puff. “My dad is coming…”

Derek could see Stiles’ body language stiffen as he looked down at his feet. “Things getting any better?”

He asked looking up at Scott.

Scott frowned and gave a soft shrug. “Nah…Still pretty tense. But my mom wants me to spend some time with him…Father –son stuff. I don’t know.”

Stiles nodded at him with a smirk. “Well, if you want stop over later we can play some video games…or something.”

Scott nodded and gave him a smile. “Sounds like a plan.” He gave Stiles a wave and pulled on his backpack. “You staying?” Stiles looked at the empty field and shrugged. “I guess I’ll practice a bit more.”  Scott stepped forward and gave him a hug.

"Thanks for practicing with me! Talk to you soon." He gave Stiles a big smile and  turned and jogged back towards the bike rack. Stiles watched him with a small smile. When he turned back he spotted Derek and gave a startled wave and a wide mouthed smile.

"Hey! How'd everything go last night? You win?"

Derek stood up and smiled at him. "Nah. Laura did. And I'm glad. I don't like all the attention she deserves it. She likes the limelight." He noticed the mix of Scott's scent on Stiles and it made him uneasy. He looked up to where the boy had gone.

"So I take it that was your friend...Uhmm. Scott?"

Stiles smiled and nodded. He began tightening the knots on his lacrosse stick. "He's awesome. I think you guys would hit it off." They began walking side by side across the field. Stiles bent down and scooped up his gear, he leaned against Derek as he lost his balance. Derek held him up his hand resting on Stiles' back. He felt his face flush slightly as Laura's words flowed back to his mind. Stiles chuckled at his expression.

"What? Do I smell bad?"  Stiles sniffed at himself and pulled a face. "Holy! God! I do!" He chuckled and leaned against Derek jokingly. "I bet your pour wolf senses are in overload.Sorry." Stiles bashfully ducked his head.

Derek let his hand fall slowly and shook his head gently. "No. No you smell ok. You smell good." Stiles looked at him and nodded slightly. 

"I've got to get going." Derek said gruffly.

Stiles stopped and grabbed his arm. "Hey. Good luck tonight." He held Derek's eyes and gave a small smile. " We can grab something for dinner tomorrow? My dad is working the late shift. Sound good?"

Derek shrugged slowly. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Stiles smiled widely. "Awesome."

* * *

 

The night of the full moon made everyone nervous. The human cousins were carefully bedded down upstairs with their human Aunt Carrie standing watch. She read to them and allowed them to jump themselves to exhaustion on Esmee’s king sized bed.

Below in the basement the rest of the family was being secured. Esmee kissed her children gently.

“Remember I have to get to school early tomorrow to set up for the fund raiser. You need to let me and Derek out before dawn.”

Derek groaned next to her. “Why do I have to go with you?” “I need you to help me carry in the tables for the prize baskets and put up the banners!”

Esmee patted her cheek. “I’ll get you down as soon as possible. I promise.”

She turned to her husband. “Bar the doors. We are ready.”

The pleasure and pain of the full moon sizzled through his body.

Around him he could see his cousins and a few of the older adults writhing in its frenzy.

His mother and father sat calmly at the center of the room.

He saw his mother’s red eyes ready to pounce if the need be.

He took some calming breaths and went inward. He catalogued his favorite characters from each book he had ever read.

He imagined their lives, their stories as if they had continued on past the pages.

A new image flickered into his mind.

Stiles laughing and smiling at him.

Comic books strewn over his sleeping body.

His wide tear filled eyes as he looked up at Derek.

His soft deep voice. His hand holding Derek’s against his chest. “You are here.”

Derek felt the transformation stop so abruptly that he gave out a soft whimper.

He felt calm and at peace, as if he were floating in the pool or curled up in the library.

His mother walked towards him with a slight smile. “Son?” She stroked his sweaty brow and he smiled softly.

“I’m ok.” He murmured.

She nodded at him. “Seems you found an anchor.”

He looked up quickly at her, the shock of her words being absorbed into his mind.

He nodded mutely. When he closed his eyes Stiles was still there.

He felt like crying out in disgust and laughing with joy.

What the hell did it all mean? Why was this happening to him? And for god’s sake why Stiles of all people!


	9. Chapter 9

Finally the pull of the moon abated.

Derek felt his body relax exhaustedly against the cold stone wall. His mother’s arm around him tightened briefly and he looked at her.

She smiled gently at him and rubbed her cheek against his. He had been awake and in control all night. Esmee had released him shortly after midnight.

He had watched as she struggled with Josh who had somehow broken through his restraints. With her husband and Derek’s help they had gotten him chained up, but not before he had given Derek a savage bite.

Esmee had licked it clean and wrapped him carefully up in a blanket next to her. She had allowed him to nod off. He turned and looked at her. She rolled her eyes at him and smiled. “Another glorious full moon.”

“You should rest.” He whispered to her. She was looking out at the pack each in their own state of awareness. She nodded.

“It’s time for them to rest.” She got up and began unfastening the restraints from each family member. Peter smiled at her and immediately laid down next to his brother and fell asleep curled tightly next to him.

Laura rubbed her chaffed wrists and hugged her mother and leaned into her arms. “I need to shower and change.”

She looked at her brother. “How did you manage to stay so focused all night?”

Derek looked down and shrugged. “Just calm.”

Laura gave him a dismissive snort. Esmee tapped her bottom playfully. “Don’t pester your brother. Go get ready for school. The sun will be up soon.”

The cousins all began curling up together, the wolf in Derek whined pitifully. He wanted to share this pack bonding as much as they did. It was an important part of being in a pack. The togetherness made you stronger and made you connected.

Esmee saw his longing look and rubbed his arm softly. “We’ll be here again tonight.” She smiled at him. “I’ll make sure to save you a spot right next to me!”

Derek chuckled and hung his head blushing. “Mom!” 

Esmee giggled and grabbed him into a tight hug. “You will never be too big to cuddle with your Mama!” She stroked his hair. “You are my baby boy! I am so proud of you. The way you found your anchor. The way you care so deeply and feel so honestly. You are my special joy…Do you know that?”

He hugged her tightly burying his face into her neck. She laughed and picked him up into a tight hug lifting him from the ground effortlessly. “See I can still carry you!”

She put him down with a laugh. “I think tonight you and me…we should spend some one on one time together. I gave Laura the talk on mates…I think maybe I should give you one too.”

Derek blushed slightly and looked away. Esmee chuckled. “Trust me…It’s not as awful as it sounds. I just think you may need to be aware of some things.”

Derek flashed her a confused look. “Don’t fret it’s no big deal…Come on and let me make you something for breakfast before you go.”

Esmee fried him two eggs and bacon while he showered. When he came down she handed him a tall glass of chocolate milk and his plate.

Laura following behind, her hair wet and braided smirked at him. “What a big baby!” She joked eyeing the dish. “Mommy still fixes you breakfast!”

Derek gave her a smug smirk and bit down into the sandwich. Laura made a face at him.

Esmee lifted her eyes at her daughter and put her hands on her hips. “What did I tell you about teasing your brother!” Laura sighed and nodded. “Sorry.” She whispered.

Esmee chuckled. “Besides…You big baby! I made some for you too!” She pulled out another dish she had covered and handed it to Laura with a wide smile. “See? Mama loves all her little babies!”

Laura squealed with delight and perched next to Derek and they sat quietly eating together.

After they had finished their breakfast Esmee walked them to the door. “Have a good day. Good luck with your fundraiser.”

She kissed them both. Laura hugged her mother and stepped back to look at her. “You going to get some sleep? You look beat.”

Esmee nodded with a grin. “Yeah. I’m going to get the little ones and we are all going to hunker down in the cellar. Josh and Thomas were very difficult to control last night, I am a bit tired. But we’ll sleep most of the day. By the time you two get home everything will be right as rain.”

Derek paused and stepped up to kiss her again. She held his eye and smiled. “Love you.” She whispered.

He gave her a small smile and trotted down the steps to the black Camaro. From the porch Esmee waved goodbye, she looked up at the first blush of pink dawn, shook her head tiredly and closed the door.

* * *

Thirty minutes later five figures cautiously stepped to the house. Kate dressed in Derek’s torn shirt smiled at her companions.

With a nod they began barricading the doors silently and placing the small plastic bottles carefully into every nook and cranny.

When every possible exit had been covered Kate smiled. With that smile on her lips she began pouring the gasoline.

Her fingers rubbing gently over the torn and worn fabric of Derek’s shirt as she walked the perimeter of the house.

When she was satisfied she lifted a quiet hand as a signal. Her hand dropped the first match. By the time they had reached the woods the house was engulfed in flames and the screams of those within made her smile twist into a laugh.


	10. Chapter 10

The hot burning raced up and down his body. He stopped himself from screaming out in agony as he threw himself into the men’s room.

He scrambled to the mirror and looked at his tear streaked face in shock and terror.

What was this? What was happening to him? It took every ounce of control not to shift. His hands gripped the sink breaking it off the wall as if it were paper.

He needed to get home. Get away from this place before someone saw him.

As he stepped into the hallways the sound of the students’ chattering, the clicking of clocks, the soft thud of shoes was deafening.

He grabbed his book bag and headed towards the doors. Suddenly he saw Laura. Her face blanched white. Her eyes streaming with tears.

He grabbed her tightly to his chest, her body shaking and sobbing. “Derek…You feel it too?” He stepped back to look at her. Her eyes flashed a hot crimson and she tossed back her head and screamed.

It was the deepest, darkest sound he had ever heard. It was the death noll of his family.

* * *

 

Sheriff Stilinski handed him another cup of coffee. He stood looking down at Derek with a sad look. He hesitantly reached out a hand and squeezed Derek’s shoulder.

Derek’s tear streaked face looked up at him. “Thank you, Sheriff.”

The woman from social services was hugging Laura and stroking her head softly.

John pressed his hand to his eyes and shook his head sadly. “If you need anything else.” Derek nodded mutely eyes down.

The sheriff looked over his notes and slowly walked back to his office. Derek looked over and saw his sister nodding to the woman. The woman stood and followed the sheriff to his office.

Laura walked slowly to him and collapsed against him on the bench. She looked forward, eyes unblinking and exhausted.

“The bank will give us access only to our accounts…We can stay at a motel tonight. Until they get in touch with an adult family member…If we have any…Because I will be eighteen soon… we do not need to be in state care…we will be subject to the trust fund and the executor of mom and dad’s will…”

She quietly dropped her head into her hands. Derek pulled her to him and pressed his face into her hair.

“We have each other…We are together.” His voice broke against a small sob. She looked up at him. “ Derek. I love you. I’m going to take care of you.”

She pulled him close. “I swear.”

Sheriff Stilinski returned carrying bags of groceries from the market and food from the diner. “I…uh. Stopped to get the hotel room all set up. And thought you’d need some things…so…I got these for you.”

Laura carefully opened the bags with a soft smile.

He had bought them toothbrushes, socks, toothpaste, assorted snacks, bottled juices and cookies. From the diner he had purchased cheeseburgers, fries and coleslaw.

Laura looked up at him and smiled. “Sheriff…Thank you.”

John shrugged slightly. “You know…You guys are welcome to come to my place…We would love to have you. We have a lot of room… Derek ? You know my son, right? I can just call him…”

For a moment Derek’s heart lurched hopefully. He wanted to see Stiles, be with him. Not somewhere cold and unfamiliar. He looked over at Laura with a hopeful look.

She shook her head slowly. “Thank you Sheriff…but…” She looked at her brother slowly. “We will be ok. I appreciate this…we appreciate this…but we are just exhausted and need to be alone.”

John pressed his lips tightly and nodded. “I understand…But just remember the offer is open.” He looked down at Derek and reached out and held her arm softly. “If you change your minds…Really.”

Laura’s lip quivered slightly and she nodded. “Thank you.”

* * *

 

“What do you mean you’re going out!” He looked around at the bare walls of the hotel room.

“We just got here!” Laura pulled her hair back into a tight braid. She pulled on her jacket and turned to him.

“You are to stay here. I’m going to check around the house. Alone. I heard the Sheriff talking to his men. They said the fire department is looking into arson. I need to get out there to check for scents before it’s all polluted by their investigation.”

“Laura!” Derek grabbed her arm. “You aren’t going there alone. What if there is someone there! What if it is …” He choked slightly. “The people who killed them. What if it is those Hunters…You can’t go alone.” He bowed his head. “Don’t leave me …alone.”

Laura grabbed him tightly to her. She lifted his head and looked into his eyes wet with tears and desperate.

She stroked his face tenderly. “Ok. Ok. But we have to be careful. We can’t let anyone see us out there.” Derek nodded swiftly and wiped at his face.

 

As they approached their house they could smell the bitter acrid smell of smoke. Laura and Derek circled-in cautiously.

After using all of their heightened senses they couldn’t detect anything. The water pooled around the house from the firefighter’s trucks.

Derek saw they area of wall they had to chop down to help in removing the bodies. He felt his legs suddenly buckle beneath him and the enormity of the whole scene hit him.

His mother, father, Ruthie…His entire family…gone. Burned in their safe place. Trapped like animals for slaughter.

He fell forward his hands digging in the mud angrily. Lurching himself towards the gaping hole. His jaws clenched tightly against the angry howl that was crawling up his throat.

As he stumbled onto the porch his hand brushed against something warm and smooth. He looked and saw the leather bound book that Stella had given him.

The strange three legged design still visible on the soot and water splattered cover. He picked it up slowly and held it to his chest. He sat back on his haunches and looked up into the black sky.

He heard Laura creeping up behind him. She approached him wordlessly and squatted down next to him.

In her hand she held a torn and faded shirt. Derek stared at her with horrified eyes as she handed it to him slowly, her head down. His scent was still on the shirt, but it was the others that made his heart break and his howl rip from his soul.

The smell of Kate and gasoline. Derek looked at his sister with horror and dropped the shirt and ran.

Laura called out desperately. But he couldn’t look at her now. Couldn’t see the truth in her eyes.

Despite her command Derek ran from Laura. He felt the full horror of what he had done. What had happened because of his stupidity, his selfishness, his adolescent love.

Derek didn’t stop running until he found himself panting and confused in the center of the town. The idea of Kate touching him, holding him made his stomach churn and retch. He allowed the contents of his stomach out and the hot bile burnt at his throat.

He wanted to score and rend any part of his body she had touched. He felt unclean…diseased.

He staggered into the night his mind swimming in sorrow and disgust. Without realizing it Derek found himself sobbing silently outside Stiles’ house.

He sat down on the curb and put his head down into his arms. Within a few moments he heard footsteps heading towards him. He looked up to see Stiles rushing across the street to him.

Stiles squatted down and pulled him into his arms. He felt Stiles’ tears against his face, heard his soft murmurs in his ear. “It’s ok. Derek. I’m here. It’s going to be ok!”

“Stiles? How did?” He looked amazingly at Stiles.

Stiles put his hand on his chest. “I just felt it…Felt you…” Stiles whispered against him.

He pulled Derek up slowly. They stood mutely looking at one another.

“Come inside Derek…Come on. Let’s clean you up.” Derek pulled away slowly and shook his head. Stiles eyes got a determined look. He reached again and pulled Derek with him. Derek hung his head and followed him mutely into the house.

Stiles lead him to his bedroom and released him to the bed. Derek sat down numbly looking up at him. His eyes lost and scared. Stiles pulled off his sweat and vomit soaked shirt and returned with a warm wet towel and carefully began wiping Derek’s face and chest.

He reached into his drawer and pulled out an oversized t-shirt. He gently maneuvered it over Derek’s head and helped him pull it over his arms.

Derek watched him as if in a dream.

Stiles gently shoved him back onto the bed. He cautiously pulled Derek next to him. He gently pulled Derek down, resting his head on his chest.

Stiles gently stroked Derek’s hair. “You’ll be ok. I’ll be here for you. I promise. I’ll be here.” Derek allowed himself to cry into Stiles’ chest.

The warm gentle hand stroking him and calming him, his warm voice repeating. “I love you Derek…You are my friend. I’ll be here.”

Derek felt the calm spreading through him as Stiles’ voice continued on and sleep took him. When he woke he found himself curled up against Stiles. He breathed in against him, the scent of Stiles was like a warm summer day.

He found himself pressing closer, a feeling of need and longing rushing through him. Stiles mumbled softly and turned towards him. Derek realized that Stiles was awake and looking at him intently.

Derek felt the heat rush to his face. He gently began to move away, when he felt Stiles hand tighten against his arm.

“Derek.” He whispered softly. Derek let his breath out slowly. He felt Stiles lean forward and kiss him gently. “I meant what I said…I do love you.”

Derek swallowed painfully and nodded slowly. “I need you to believe that…Ok?” Derek nodded and began to sit up slowly.

Stiles pulled himself up and looked at him. “You feeling better?” He hung his head. “That’s so stupid…I hated when people asked me that…I mean. Of course you aren’t…Christ. Derek. I am so sorry.”

He reached out and pulled Derek into his arms. “I wish I could do something…Anything to make this better…But…” He looked at Derek’s eyes. “I can’t…I can only be here…for you.”

Derek felt his own arms moving around Stiles and pulling him close. “You are…Stiles. You are here…”

Suddenly Derek pulled back and turned to see Laura standing at the window.

She shook her head slowly and bowed her head. He looked at her and then at Stiles in shame.

Stiles scurried up to embrace her. “Laura.” He looked at her. “You need to stay here?”

She rubbed her hand over Stiles’ cheek and gave him a wavering smile. “No. We can’t stay. Derek. It was hunters…They are here.” She held out a blade that shined silvery in the light.

“There was one at the motel. He was looking for us. There are bound to be more.”

Stiles gaped. “Tell my dad! He’ll stop them.” He turned to look at Derek. “Stay here they won’t come here…Will they?”

Derek looked up at him. “I don’t want you getting hurt Stiles.”

“What are you going to do then?” Stiles reached out and held Derek’s arm. “My dad has a gun…I know how to shoot…I’ll protect you…both.”

Laura shook her head. “We need to go.”

“But where will you go?” Stiles asked eyeing Derek.

Laura and Derek shared a look. “We go away. Far away.” Laura sighed.

Stiles sat down deflated next to Derek.

“We need to be forgotten Stiles. They won’t stop. They’ve gone this far to kill us…all of us…We can’t jeopardize anyone else getting hurt. Derek…you understand, right?”

Derek closed his eyes tightly and nodded. Laura nodded slightly. “I’ll meet you outside…Goodbye Stiles.” She bent down and kissed his forehead softly. “Be safe.” Stiles blinked up at her and nodded sadly.

After she left Derek stood and looked down at Stiles.

Stiles stood up. “ I’ll be here when you can come back…I’ll write to you…You can call…”

Derek gave him a soft smile and nodded. “You are one of a kind Stiles. I wish…Things could have been different.” He pulled Stiles to his chest.

“You made me laugh and smile and feel…loved.” He bent his head down and kissed Stiles deeply.

Stiles smiled against the kiss. “My first kiss.” He whispered. Derek smiled slowly at him. “I love you too Stiles…and that why I have to…”

 

* * *

Stiles woke up and stumbled downstairs. He grabbed his coco krispies and a bowl. Once he had filled it to the brim he dug in happily.

The chocolate goodness snapping and popping against his tongue.

His father came in with a smile. “How’d you sleep?” John asked pouring himself a coffee.

Stiles shrugged. “Ok. Some weird dreams…About werewolves.”

John raised his eyebrows. “That’s pretty scary.” He turned and poured more coffee into his mug.

“Nah. They were ok. Cool Werewolves…Friendly. They were protecting me.” Stiles slurped at his bowl.

John frowned and leaned in looking at his son. “What the hell did you do to the back of your neck?”

Stiles stopped at reached behind him to feel the small scratches at the base of his neck.

“ Weird? I don’t remember.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the first part (Past)   
> I'll star the present soon. Thanks for all the love and positive comments.

**Author's Note:**

> visit me on Tumblr. http://therowan.tumblr.com/


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